Saturday, July 10, 2010


A man I don't even know passed away. I had come to know Dave (aka Mr. Grumpy) through the blog of his wife, Sandy of the Seasons (if that's got anything to do with her real name).

Quite often she'd mention him in her posts. Or she'd comment on my posts - the ones I write occasionally about the miseries of married life - and from her advice I could imagine the type of relationship this woman I've never met had with her husband of thirty years. I kinda felt that she understood me.

"No more Mr. Grumpy!" I thought sadly and I wished I could give Sandy a big hug.

So here I am feeling Sandy's grief. And, here I am being a voyeur to George's pain, while admiring Ro's quality of life, laughing with Robin, trying to freak out that Dunderhead bloke, disagreeing with the man whose wife is worried about the man who my husband should  be worried about, imagining Mugwhump's glasses, contemplating with Sharon the Mercurial Woman, pretending that I think like Archive Fire, missing Farmgirl paints who is out west when I don't even know where my real-life friends are. It occurs to me that I've been avoiding friends whose names I actually know since I started secretly blogging.

Anyway, I'm really sorry that Mr. Grumpy died. It affected me more intimately than I would have expected it to.

Take care sweet Sandy of the Seasons.
Remember him with love and fondness. I know that I will.



Robin said...

I know what you mean. I was just talking to my mother about a variation on this theme the other day. Obviously, we weren't discussing the death of Sandy's husband (sorry about that, btw), but the fact that these people that I am meeting on blogger are becoming more "real" than people that I actually know. The bizarre thing is that my closest "real" friends live so far away (as in across the country) and they have kids and lives and are just too busy. The flip side is that I get tired of always being the one to call, so I have quit. And there haven't been any calls in a LONG time. And my friends here are also busy. We talk on the phone (if I call) but we can't ever seem to actually physically get together. And so... it isn't a matter of ducking of them. It's just knowing that unless I extend the effort, I won't hear from them. So, in the space of six months, (I opened this account in January) I have come to feel closer to people that I have never met than all of the people that I have... with the exception of my mom. I live with her and she gets to hear all of my junk non-stop. My last thought on this phenomena: it doesn't hurt as much if your blogger friends disappoint you. I know that having people that you thought were your best friends disappoint you is excruciating. Much worse than anything my ex-husband inflicted and he did tons of damage. E-friends are safe and still real. What do you think?

Purple Cow said...

I agree.

michael- said...

cycles and seasons... Life!

Ro Magnolia said...

I was so sad to see that Sandy's husband passed away. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I popped over to her blog with a word of condolence as soon as I read your post.

You asked me on my last post about the Friday Follow 40 and Over. It's a blog hop that Java over at Never Growing Old started for anyone who is over 40, or as you would put it, suffering with "AGE"!!! :) If you click the button on my Friday's post, it will take you over there.

I've found it to be a great way to meet new bloggers, and yes, some of them are definitely becoming real friends, yourselves and Robin included.

Ro Magnolia said...

P.S. I meant to say ... I found it interesting/humbling that you admire my quality of life. I think humbling, because really, the things that make my quality of life wonderful are intangible, and somewhat inexpressible so I'm not sure how much of them have been presented in my blog.

I hope that my blog does not just project "flowers" and "swimming pools" and "fruit trees" ... but truthfully, how can it really display the more important things? Thinks like having a husband who stands by my side during the difficult times and loves me when I'm so undeserving, who makes me laugh when I'm being too melodramatic and accepts me just the way I am? And having brothers who stick up for me at every turn and have my back regardless of what life is throwing my way? Or having faith in a God who loves me personally and guides me through life? Or good friends to laugh with and sometimes to cry with?

Those are the things that really give my life immense quality - the rest comes and goes and is appreciated for what it is worth but acknowledged as being very transient in nature.

But I can't take pictures of laughter or of love, of loyalty, faithfulness or honour. So instead, I take pictures of flowers, and swimming pools, fruit trees and sunsets, and hope that somehow you are able to see beyond that to a quality of life that is actually completely inner and not dependent on any of those outer things at all.

Purple Cow said...

When I said "quality", I did not mean pools and pergolas. These are quantity things. Quality is the other stuff - bits about you that have to do with kindness, calmness and calibre. Style...or if you like "substance" ;-)

Anyway, this is a post about Sandy's Mr. Grumpy. We never knew him but through Sandy he touched our lives. May he rest in peace.