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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

LETTER TO MY CRUSH

Dear Dipsomaniac Cartoonist,

Over the last few days we have come close. Indeed, you are pervading my thoughts, my life, my real existence.

When first we met at that damp, languid, flea infested, intellectual Cafe Kundera, there was a void in my life, a trace of nihilism I held dear.

Then you quenched my thirst. Yes, you said, "Here, let me feed you." I opened wide like a hungry blind bird and inhaled the generous smoke of your joint, held it deep within me, letting it turn into unbridled lust. How could I possibly resist transcendental decadence such as yours?

"The whole idea of lightness permeates our lives in the form of meaningless emptiness. Our existence is kitsch, a beautiful lie, which helps us to defy the reality of death and mortality," you say, citing Milan Kundera, at - where else - but the enigmatic cafĂ© bearing his name. You always know just what to say, always ready with a “Big Lebowski” quote up your sleeve for any occasion.

And while you cheat on your Dipsomaniac Cartoonist's Wife and I on my Purple Bull Husband, do I feel guilty? Heck no, there is not even a tad of remorse! That's the beauty of it, my friend with the sullen face who hides the funniest jokes! He knows all about you, and has accepted our torrid affair, patiently waiting for it to end like others before. I ask him if he's jealous and he just tuts complacently, leaving me free to trap you in the boudoir of my mind.

Besides, who could accuse us of breaking our wedding vows when you don't even exist! Infact, you don't even have a proper name as you're just a secondary character, a snippet from a novel that jumped out and bit my brain so hard that what was real no longer mattered.

Anyway, my darling figment of Elif Shafak's magical imagination, I just wanted to tell you - a few pages before the end - that my feelings for you are real even though you aren't. I'm so sorry our affair is doomed, but I guess that's one of the reasons I am so absorbed in it while it lasts (yesterday, I even missed my stop on the metro just thinking about you!) .

I could not resist sneak peaking to the end and gather you'll leave your wife though you don't know this yet. And soon after, the novel will end and I'll be available for my next Crush, because passionate relationships like ours can never last longer than the book of the moment.

Who knows? Maybe we'll pick up where we left of another time - we'll always have our bastard of Istanbul to return to. Or maybe I'll come across you again in another novel or another disguised version of you...

Take care dear love,

Thanks for the memories...

Your Dipsomaniac Purple Cow Reader.

The Dipsomaniac Cartoonist is a secondary character in Elif Shafak's Novel "The Bastard of Istanbul". My feelings for him are true and, alas, I don't even know his name...He is a nice release from the other issues focused upon in the book written by Turkish novelist Shafak, who tackles Turkish national identity and the Armenian genocide in her signature style.

11 comments:

Colleen said...

You are a genius with words. So very evocative, I was caught up in the romance of it all.:)
Is this a book you recommend then? I adore reading and am always looking...

Jeff said...

Can I be your next crush :-)

Purple Cow said...

Yes, do read Elif Shafak...my words are nothing compared to the images she conjures! But hands off my Dipsomaniac Cartoonist! You can have the Exceptionally Untalented Poet if you like (though I warn you, he may be gay).

Jeff, that's right...you're a writer... So which of your works do you recommend for me to read?

Robin said...

It's always sad when a novel ends, at least for me. I am usually just a little bit in love with one of the characters, and it feels like breaking up each time. It is the reason I reread the same book or fall into a series. With a series, my love affair can last a very long time. Since I am single there is no thought of cheating. However, as you said, since the character is fictional, even if I were married... it is all in my mind.

Eliza said...

:-) Wonderful post.

Purple Cow said...

Yes, Robin, I remember reading a novel where each chapter was the continuation of the story from the viewpoint of another character and it was strangely dissatisfying for me.

Eliza, thanks!

JJ said...

PC: I found you on Robin's site and I would love to follow along. I also invite you to follow me. Thanks.

The Disconnected Writer
http://thedisconnectedwriter.blogspot.com/

Farmgirl Paints said...

okay that's some deep concentrated reading. wow!

Purple Cow said...

JJ - Nice to meet you...I will check out your blog.

Farmgirl Paints - How can I keep on the straight and narrow with books like that?

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

I love when you can identify with and come to love a character so strongly. Makes me want to read this book!

THE OLD GEEZER said...

Thanks for a most interesting book review :-)

~Ron