Thursday, November 11, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, V!
Do we miss you?
At first it felt like numbness, followed by a poetic type of sadness as I frantically sought you in Ekhart Tolle books and Freud. And bit by bit, life went on. I even made new friends - Saturday Morning Friends as part of my "this is how I keep alive" routine...Many times, when I'm with these "friends", I resent them a little for not being YOU and Alexandra.
Oh, it's not their fault. It's just me being elusive...not quite ready to let new people into my heart. Wanting to prove that our friendship was strong enough to withstand your absence.
Trying to keep you alive by bothering you with my thoughts, chatting with you in the dialogues of my mind, conjuring you in my dreams, prodding you to be a middle person between me and God when I pray is not exactly letting you Rest In Peace like you're supposed to. But, regardless of the meditation tapes and energy channeling, you never really did like peace very much, did you? Isn't that why you married the saxophonist?
I hope there's lots of music where you are. And booze, too! Have fun with Alexandra tonight. I'll be with you soon, darlings. Maybe I'm just as much already there as you are here.
Love you, babe.
DEDICATED TO YOU...STRAIGHT FROM THE EIGHTIES....