Let me share with you a fantasy I have had since getting hitched 12 1/2 years ago. It's something I've always yearned for but have found no reciprocation. It's not that kinky. Infact it's so simple and easy that I feel entitled to it... It's really quite - what's the word - "pissible"* (hope I used it correctly, Robin).
I have always wanted to take a sick day from work - not alone, but with my husband. We would take our daughters to school and then meet up again at home, eat strawberries in bed, make love, perhaps take a walk to the beach at some point. You get my general drift, right?
For this to work though - and here's the catch - we both need to call in sick on the same day. In my fantasy, there would be absolutely no communication with our respective offices. We can even pretend to be uni students cutting class.
My husband finds this fantasy to be a silly notion. He can't understand why we can't just take a day from our holiday leave rather than pretend to be sick. To fill you in, my husband is an extremely responsible and organised person who likes to do things by the book. Furthermore, I might add that his holidays always get weighed down with a cell phone, lap top, work documents and various other unnecessary gadgets he doesn't really need for a family vacation.
To make me feel guilty he says, "We are lucky to have jobs! With the current economic crisis looming over our heads there may be job cuts and your fantasy might come true sooner than we think!" Plus he is contemplating early retirement. But my fantasy is not with a pensioner or unemployed person so there is some urgency in the matter. It is such a simple wish that I refuse to negotiate on this detail.
Anyway, should I die unexpectedly (heaven forbid!), I will make arrangements for him to be given the address of this anonymous blog that he knows absolutely nothing about. (Note to husband: If you are reading this and I'm dead I hope you feel remorse for not having fulfilled my fantasy. Plus we did not lose your mother's lace tablecloth in that move back in 1999, I had accidentally burnt it during ironing and was too afraid to tell you.)
Meanwhile, I take comfort remembering all my other fulfilled fantasies that went awry. Take for instance, the "Gone with the Wind" fiasco when I coaxed him to seeing the film with me on the big screen only to find that we were the only ones in the movie theatre along with a deranged old man who was masturbating in the seat beside me... Or Women's Day 1998 when I didn't let him watch the Formula 1 Grand Prix on television only to have him get run over by a car. These are stories that deserve their own blog posts.
* pissibilities - an alteration of possibilities that according to Robin's "A Daily Dose" blog means "diluted chances, melted prospects, leaky odds". Use it often as it is Robin Richards' contribution to the English language.