Pages

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

ONE SICK DAY WON'T KILL YOU

Let me share with you a fantasy I have had since getting hitched 12 1/2 years ago. It's something I've always yearned for but have found no reciprocation. It's not that kinky. Infact it's so simple and easy that I feel entitled to it... It's really quite - what's the word - "pissible"* (hope I used it correctly, Robin).

I have always wanted to take a sick day from work - not alone, but with my husband. We would take our daughters to school and then meet up again at home, eat strawberries in bed, make love, perhaps take a walk to the beach at some point. You get my general drift, right?

For this to work though - and here's the catch - we both need to call in sick on the same day. In my fantasy, there would be absolutely no communication with our respective offices. We can even pretend to be uni students cutting class.

My husband finds this fantasy to be a silly notion. He can't understand why we can't just take a day from our holiday leave rather than pretend to be sick. To fill you in, my husband is an extremely responsible and organised person who likes to do things by the book. Furthermore, I might add that his holidays always get weighed down with a cell phone, lap top, work documents and various other unnecessary gadgets he doesn't really need for a family vacation.

To make me feel guilty he says, "We are lucky to have jobs! With the current economic crisis looming over our heads there may be job cuts and your fantasy might come true sooner than we think!" Plus he is contemplating early retirement. But my fantasy is not with a pensioner or unemployed person so there is some urgency in the matter. It is such a simple wish that I refuse to negotiate on this detail.

Anyway, should I die unexpectedly (heaven forbid!), I will make arrangements for him to be given the address of this anonymous blog that he knows absolutely nothing about. (Note to husband: If you are reading this and I'm dead I hope you feel remorse for not having fulfilled my fantasy. Plus we did not lose your mother's lace tablecloth in that move back in 1999, I had accidentally burnt it during ironing and was too afraid to tell you.)

Meanwhile, I take comfort remembering all my other fulfilled fantasies that went awry. Take for instance, the "Gone with the Wind" fiasco when I coaxed him to seeing the film with me on the big screen only to find that we were the only ones in the movie theatre along with a deranged old man who was masturbating in the seat beside me... Or Women's Day 1998 when I didn't let him watch the Formula 1 Grand Prix on television only to have him get run over by a car. These are stories that deserve their own blog posts.

* pissibilities - an alteration of possibilities that according to Robin's "A Daily Dose" blog means "diluted chances, melted prospects, leaky odds". Use it often as it is Robin Richards' contribution to the English language.

4 comments:

Propoquerian said...

what a fun and querky blog! I loved reading this! And your husband must understand that the irresponsible aspect of the fantasy is the most important aspect! its a way of proving that sharing moments with the people we love will always come above ambitions (when negotiable) and this one sounds negotiable :) I hope you get to fulfill it! i'll follow you, you're hilarious and uplifting :) maybe you'll follow a young gal in her 20's too if ya like

twistedtemper.blogspot.com

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

You are so much fun. :)

Thanks for visiting me!

Blessings,
LMM

Robin said...

As the writer of YOUR DAILY DOSE and the inventor of the word "pissibilities," you have NO IDEA how much I enjoyed your story. It hit me on so many levels. One, I appreciated that you used it 100% correctly. I hate it when people destroy the English language by twisting it around so that what they're saying doesn't even make sense. If you're going to use a word, at least use it correctly. Two, it wasn't so much that I enjoyed your story about the pissible sick day "event" with your husband; it was just how well you told the story of a wish unfulfilled. Third, I admit I did get a chuckle about the things that he didn't know. I hope he lives a good, long time, and you continue to blog every day. Can you imagine him reading 1300 blogs and discovering all the things he DIDN'T know about you???? He will feel really bad because his odds will have gone from pissible to impossible to change anything. But at least will finally know you.

LJ Ducharme said...

Its a lovely fantasy! But my husband is in the same camp as yours. Maybe if you called them "mental health" days instead of 'sick' days, to your husband the idea might take better root. We ALL need mental health days, in fact I'm well over due. But I also live right next door to where I work and the guilt would consume me. Best of luck with your fantasy. I hope it can come true for you.