Wednesday, August 25, 2010


WHAT IF I had decided not to be born?

WHAT IF my mother hadn’t fudged my birth certificate so that I could go to school with kids older than myself and get a "head-start" in life?

WHAT IF my parents hadn’t sent me to that conservative Catholic school that they believed it was the “best education” I could receive?

WHAT IF I had done the sane thing and listened to my grandmother's advice about becoming a teacher (for mainly three reasons: June, July and August)?

WHAT IF I hadn’t left Australia to come to Greece?

WHAT IF I’d been unscrupulous and slept my way to the top when I was still daisy fresh?

WHAT IF I had been sick and unable to attend the fateful art gallery exhibition where I met my husband?

WHAT IF I hadn’t reprioritised my life upon having my firstborn?

WHAT IF I had listened to everyone (doctor, husband, friends, yikes...) and aborted the “second child” just as they suggested cause all their stupid tests showed all sorts of problems?

WHAT IF - instead of being cynical and skeptical - I had let myself fall for the romantic words and compliments dished out by my first love who suddenly crawled out of the woodwork after over two decades of absence?

WHAT IF Alexandra and Vivi were still alive?

WHAT IF I couldn't light up a cigarette to be mesmerised and side-tracked by the "dancing smoke" everytime I want to cry?

WHAT IF I succumbed to pressure and got a cell phone? (No way!)

WHAT IF I had not begun this blog and not met you people?

WHAT IF everything we know is just a figment of our imagination and that none of this is real?

WHAT IF I discover that everything I've ever fought for and believed in is sheer fabrication (yes, Robin, just like "The Truman Show"), and WHAT IF this discovery is made shortly before I die? Would it still be a discovery I would want to make?

WHAT IF there actually is a God?

our lives had been different, would we still be the same…?
Is it our values that shape our lives or is it our experiences that influence our beliefs?

And, finally, WHAT IF I had not read  Jeff's "Wouldn't it be GREAT..." post?
Would I have still written this?  (CLICK HERE)
(Now you all know who is to blame!)


This moon picture is for Ro Magnolia.
Go to her blog to find out why!


Anonymous said...

HAHAHA...Guilty as charged. I'm just glad I am guilty of a charge of creating something with the written word :-)

PS: I never look back only forward so I would say What if I met a Purple Cow would we challenge one another's creative intellect

Janna Qualman said...

There's a lot of beauty and truth and sorrow in this post. I thank you for sharing it with us.

I think What If can be healthy to consider on occasion. It leads to self-discovery and reflection, and I think we benefit from those things.

KyAnn (like Cayenne Pepper, only HOTTER) said...

New follower. Love your blog.

Purple Cow said...

Yes, Jeff, I learnt recently that it is important to give credit where credit is due (even though this may well take up half my blog space)!

Janna, I guess understanding our decisions is one way to understand ourselves. Glad you like the post - but that F. Scott Fitzgerald! Isn't he something else?

Thanks for the visit KyAnn...are you sure you love this? Geez, love is blind!

Ro Magnolia said...

Interesting post ... and somewhere recently I think you posted a Rudyard Kipling poem ... today you remind me of his poem "If" especially this line:

"If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too..."

Somehow all "what if" questions seem to come down to these two questions: Do I trust myself to have made the right decisions along the way? And do I allow others to have made mistakes without letting it destroy me and my ability to have hope in others? I see those two questions in almost all of your "what ifs."

Oh, and by the way, I mentioned you in my blog today. :)

Anonymous said...

wow, I LOVE this post!
all these What-ifs - sometimes I think about these things too. But I think that without our mistakes and successes, without our wrong decisions, good decisions, scars, we would be different people. And, oh, the trick is - we don't get to chose whether we are born or not. Otherwise I don't think there would be as many people in the world as there is :) My worst "what if" is - what if I never tried drugs. How different my life would be. Completely different, I suppose. And I would be completely different person, but I cannot imagine myself without the mistakes I made. But then, again, if I hadn't made these mistakes, I wouldn't be able to imagine what it would be like to make these mistakes....WHOA I don't make any sense right now, haha

Ro Magnolia said...

Oh Purple Cow, your moonscape is absolutely breath-taking! Definitely, definitely something magical about all that glimmering moonshine on the water. No wonder I was able to dance with the butterflies yesterday! :)

Purple Cow said...

Misery, don't you feel that you would have had the same sensitivities, the same sore sports... perhaps you had no choice, being the person you are, but to make the mistakes you made. I guess we all choose our mistakes according to who we are. (Now who's not making sense?)

Thank you Ro!

Robin said...

What if you hadn't started this blog? Would your life be the better or worse for it? Only you know that. I believe that our values shape our lives. Where do those values come from is probably your next thought. I think that some of them are part of the fabric of our nature. Others are instilled in us by outside influences, like our parents, friends, and so on. Do our experiences shape our lives? Well, of course. Do they control our lives? Only if we let them.

Sandy, Sisters of Season said...

Hi Mary,

What if Dave never died? I wouldn't have known how much I loved him and all the amazing people that have expressed their love and kindness to my family and I. Thank you my sweet dear blog friend. Sandy:O)

Purple Cow said...

Oh, Sandy, I hope you're doing ok. I'm not sure if some lessons are worth their price.

Robyn...truth is, I feel like the same person I was when I was 16 deep down...regardless of the experiences that have shaped my lives and the changes in the way I protect myself.

DID ANYBODY ACTUALLY CLICK FOR THE F. SCOTT FITZGERALD CLIP? It's good. My favorite part of the Benjamin Button film.

Veronica Lee said...

I love this post, Purple Cow. What if I didn't link up on the blog hops? We would not have connected! What if I've never met my husband? I wouldn't be married to the wonderful man who's the father of my 2 kids today.

Have a nice day!

Purple Cow said...

Yes, even had we not connected, even had you not met your husband and had two wonderful kids...surely you would have something else...perhaps equally as wonderful...BUT would you STILL be the same person you are today?

Veronica Lee said...

Tricky question. Maybe I would have fallen in love with a Greek and settled in Greece?!!

Seriously, I can't answer that. LOL! Too deep! I probably would have married my ex-boyfriend and ended up very miserable! Who knows!! Circumstances do shape our lives and make us the people we are.

Design It Chic said...

Hi! Thanks for joining with us on Boost My Blog Friday! You rock! Sorry it took me a while to get to you, but i am naturally following you now and hope to see you again tomorrow at Boost My Blog Friday!
Plus, don't forget, if you need any help increasing your blog's traffic or easy HTML tips, you know where to come! Happy Thursday!

Purple Cow said...

Thanks for following.
I didn't even know I had joined BOOST MY BLOG. Does that mean that last Friday when I took part in my FIRST blog hop (Java's Follow Friday) I did two blog hops for the price of one?
I visited your blog. Interesting comments you made about comments. So thanks for commenting.

Ro Magnolia said...

Yes, Purple Cow, I did visit the Benjamin Button clip and now have an overwhelming desire to see that movie. It was a very intriguing glimpse into the film!

Anwesha Chatterjee said...

No fun! If you had not been around, this blog would not have existed and so many of your readers would be disappointed

Linda Pressman said...

Such fascinating questions. My what ifs are just as complex, with half of them leaving me kicking myself at all my stupidity and mistakes and the other half nearly breathless with the near misses!

Very thought provoking.

Purple Cow said...

We shouldn't ask "What if" just to kick ourselves but to better understand "why" and perhaps better appreciate the people we are!

Aging Mommy said...

It is always fascinating to wonder what might have been. I wrote a post on Monday about the fact that there are a number of big decisions I regret in life and yet I would not go back and change any of them as then I would not be where I am now and I like my life!