tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post2015164858382742108..comments2023-08-20T04:54:22.667-07:00Comments on "Australian" in Athens: THE DADDY OR THE DOG?Purple Cowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11016727639028322093noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-74327003704882583802010-04-25T14:43:47.465-07:002010-04-25T14:43:47.465-07:00Oh dear... well just gnore me - I may go away.Oh dear... well just gnore me - I may go away.Georgenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-51558434620504781552010-04-24T22:53:59.214-07:002010-04-24T22:53:59.214-07:00Hey girl,
I always appreciate your comments and q...Hey girl, <br />I always appreciate your comments and questions- just wanted to thank you for them... also, really quick, before I head to bed... I forwarded your India questions to my husband, Adrain. Since you have a "noreply blogger email address" attached to your comment, he will probably leave a comment for you here. Just a head's up, as I can't really answer those questions for you, but I know he'd be happy to! (when he has a minute or two) <br /><br />Blessings, and take care, <br />SashaLemonade Makin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16404173701815078504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-43713223742796265802010-04-24T21:34:02.910-07:002010-04-24T21:34:02.910-07:00Thank you Sandy for your encouragement. I'm go...Thank you Sandy for your encouragement. I'm gonna hang in there and just keep fighting it.<br /><br />George - you shock me! You are going to a dangerous place that I'm not quite sure I can handle... The word is not "isolation" or "aloneness" - if you want a word...here it is:<br /><br />http://australianinathens.blogspot.com/2010/03/estranged-but-not-e-stranged.htmlPurple Cowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11016727639028322093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-46607963147157525472010-04-24T09:47:16.709-07:002010-04-24T09:47:16.709-07:00Mary, it's painful, but you do get through it....Mary, it's painful, but you do get through it. Talking about it with him as a family is scary sometimes and it hurts, thats normal. Having a strong understanding about the disease makes a real difference, helping your husband adjust too. Your kids will see him for the strong person he really is, enduring this disease. I'm sure he feels bad sometimes because of it, it puts limitations on him as a father and a husband. Having all of your support, you and the kids will make a happier environment.Sandy, Sisters of Seasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11462898910333672431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-69145334300887493352010-04-24T03:51:51.396-07:002010-04-24T03:51:51.396-07:00Now if I were a therapist (which of course I am no...Now if I were a therapist (which of course I am not) the phrase I would pick up on would be '… I could not motivate myself to go home where I knew that I would find mayhem.'<br /><br />I wonder whether the ‘mayhem’ you don’t want to go home and face (no, I know you did not use the word ‘face’) is more than just the kids and their father. Is there mayhem in your relationship with your husband?<br /><br />And… ‘my husband has a brilliant excuse for his temper’ Is this what you really feel?<br /><br />I think I understand what your ‘psychologist’ is saying. But it does not mean that you are to blame for his ‘poor relationship with his children.’. Nor are you responsible for the fact that your husband does not know how to express his love for them. Does he know how to express his love for you? Can you talk to him? About how you feel?<br /><br />Your write with such insight, warmth, charm and humour… but I detect a feeling of … maybe 'isolation' is too strong a word…‘aloneness’. Like you have to solve all these problems by yourself.<br /><br />But, as I say, I am not a therapist… so if you don’t want to ‘allow’ this comment, that’s okay.<br /><br />Keep writing, though... brilliant!!Georgenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-28248550213316779632010-04-24T00:02:30.882-07:002010-04-24T00:02:30.882-07:00Thanks Sandy. Your comment is helpful. Maybe I als...Thanks Sandy. Your comment is helpful. Maybe I also feel frustrated with this condition and my daughter may be sensing this. Perhaps we should focus on the illness a little bit more rather than as a side bar. Maybe it's just too painful to focus on where the real problem is - the MS.Purple Cowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11016727639028322093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-78168651960496177032010-04-23T23:45:02.636-07:002010-04-23T23:45:02.636-07:00Hi Mary,
Interesting post . . Divorce is the easy...Hi Mary,<br /><br />Interesting post . . Divorce is the easy way out . . a good marriage has lots of dents in it. MS is a tough disease to deal with, my husband has a heart condition then on top of that he's been a diabetic since childhood . . I know how hard it can get for you personally, been there many times. This tells me you are a strong individual . . not by choice, but by life. I always was straight up with all my kids regarding their Dad's health situation. It hasn't hurt my kids, its made them much more compassionate, more appreciate of their own health and not to take each other for granted. As a family unit, respect for one another is #1, that's most important. I hear frustration from your oldest, you should be able to talk to her about MS, she then could probably understand (she's extremely bright for her aged, she's ahead of her time)and have more compassion for her Dad. My oldest son has ADHD, believe me, I've had my share of problems over the years. I don't blame myself . . between my husband and I, one of us has to stay sane. I know it's my faith that gets me through it. Hugs and prayers for you Mary, Sandy :O)Sandy, Sisters of Seasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11462898910333672431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-37660740839990863752010-04-23T22:58:33.224-07:002010-04-23T22:58:33.224-07:00Obviously the people who are suggesting I smoke ma...Obviously the people who are suggesting I smoke marijuana as a solution do not have children...I take their comments as the jokes that undoubtedly they were intended to be...<br /><br />Sharon - I don't want a divorce but my daughter has said to get rid of him and I take it seriously for a kid to say such a thing. Of course her best friend's parents recently got a divorce and I am wondering if maybe her friend's problems with the dad are reflecting onto her relationship. Nor do I think it is a solution for me to be at home all the time as a referee but coming home to such situations all the time makes it not worth the going out.<br /><br />Robin - This is NOT a discipline problem. Our kids are HIGHLY disciplined. The Eldest who my husband is having problems with is a top-notch student, guitarist, medal-winning chess player, cup-winning athlete in national junior championship athletics events and usually is content to bury her head in a book. We say, "Stop reading we're going to the park." Just last night there were cartoons on TV and she didn't want to join the rest of the family in a TV night cause she was too busy finishing her book. Generally she's a high achiever. She's the girl who wrote the fly poem if you remember. At school we keep getting congratulated about her character...She's generally mature but I get the feeling that my husband relates to her as though they are both 10 years old. He forgets she the kid and he is the adult and not to take it personally when she plays up. I am against spanking. I usually joke her into obedience. When she uses the whiny voice I say..."What hertz is that? How do you do that pitch?" Discussion also works wonders with this particular child. When I'm in a BAD mood I just send her to her room so we can chill out. At my worst, I've also been known to confiscate things. But when things are hopeless I let it go so she can calm down and we can discuss the issue when both of us are calm. But my husband plays right into every trap she lays...and this makes her all the more obnoxious. But that's just my opinion, my husband thinks I'm the one who did this because of course I'm the one she listens to and also the one who criticises his discipline techniques that mainly consist of spanking and inventive name-calling. In a little while this little girl will be a teenager and my husband's health will either be stable or worse and things will not be any easier! And I feel there's little I can do as my intervention will only stand in the way of them finding their own balances, don't you think? So what does the psychologist mean when she says..."Mothers are the ones that determine the relationship fathers have with their kids!" ????? Where is my blind spot?Purple Cowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11016727639028322093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-48198141522194233002010-04-23T13:31:37.400-07:002010-04-23T13:31:37.400-07:00I live in the USA, and I keep thinking that Greece...I live in the USA, and I keep thinking that Greece, is so exsotic, and Australia a beautiful land, and here I am thanks to you I come down to earth.<br />I really like the way you write, I think that just the fact that you look at my abstract thinking is wonderful, my life is very differant then what you have,it must be interesting to live as you do, you have so much going on all the time.I live alone, and with a beautiful, smart mid-size dog. I'm going to secand SCHAFNER, and add that instead of Tabbaco, canabis, is a lot better choice. Thank you.ecelliamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11183681608774503523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-84629525342497426142010-04-23T12:37:00.035-07:002010-04-23T12:37:00.035-07:00The truth is that parents have to present a united...The truth is that parents have to present a united front or kids will conquer and destroy. They are always looking for an end around...any sign of weakness. Personally, I don't think a spanking on the tush hurts them one bit IF they deserve it. However, I think there are other ways to punish kids. In fact, when the step kis were living with me and my ex, I really didn't even want to spank them b/c they had come out of a physically abusive household with their mom and stepdad, so I got creative. Things like a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar for talking back, standing in the corner for 2-3 minutes for general disobedience, with additional minutes added if the kid acted up in the corner, etc. Eventually, I had enough of these sorts of "punishments" that I made the kid pick their punishment, which was its own punishment b/c they had to choose it. Of course, my ex still spanked them and I never said a word about it. United front. But they hated my punishments MORE. I don't know if it was because of the punishment itself or because of the respect they had for the person issuing the punishment. I do know that in therapy, H-girl one day picked out action figures to represent our family. She, C-Man, and daddy were all about the same size. I was the tallest. They were all mini sized. It was very insightful.<br /><br />How does this help you? I don't know. Sounds like you are the large action figure. I agree with Schafner that divorce really doesn't sound like a good idea. Maybe you can discuss alternative punishments with your husband? With his failing health, spanking will get harder in the future, so it might be a good idea to start incorporating some other things NOW. Just a thought...Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14932408372240147454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-85817974288709221092010-04-23T11:28:40.963-07:002010-04-23T11:28:40.963-07:00As a woman who did divorce my daughter's fathe...As a woman who did divorce my daughter's father, I can tell you, that wasn't the answer for them. But it sure was the answer for me. (Nothing being suggested for you in that statement.) He sounds like a good man with a bad health situation that's taking a toll on all of you. <br /><br />Relationships are so doggone complicated. No matter how I've dealt with mine, I've always just traded one set of problems for another. I think the answer is in finding the set of problems that are the best fit.<br /><br />Smoking a few extras before facing the expected is certainly one way of coping. Cheers!Sharonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02852119592451618703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-82968125920974390182010-04-23T06:19:11.840-07:002010-04-23T06:19:11.840-07:00You should have been a journalist. Oh, the fun you...You should have been a journalist. Oh, the fun you'd have during montage! <br /><br />A joint, eh? So you feel that maybe I'm smoking the wrong stuff.Purple Cowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11016727639028322093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3284462997299066462.post-40256185397538630262010-04-23T04:31:14.289-07:002010-04-23T04:31:14.289-07:00All kidding aside, I really like your writing styl...All kidding aside, I really like your writing style.<br /><br />Also, I think when "divorce" even barely enters the equation, you start heading in that direction really quickly. So don't. Sounds like despite some of the craziness (which happens in all marriages -- even half-way across the world) you two have something really special going on.<br /><br /><br />(Puts back on Joking Cap)<br /><br />With all that being said, this sentence stuck out to me:<br /><br />"It feels as though I have tried to be on his side and take a joint stand but internally I often disagree, especially when he hits them every time he looks after them alone."<br /><br />If you take away the second part of that sentence, it now looks like this:<br /><br />"It feels as though I have tried to be on his side and take a joint."<br /><br />Maybe that's the answer.<br /><br />Smoke a joint. <br /><br />I should have been a clinical psychologist.<br /><br /><br />...<br /><br />P.S. I finally "said something" on blog per your request. Hope you enjoy.Joshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18138092513712933410noreply@blogger.com